Quakeweek
July 9, 1997


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NASA Unveils MarsQuake

Game Developers Sue 'Iron' Mike Tyson

John Carmack Denies Quake Was Written By Extraterrestrials

GLQuake 2 Needs No Special Hardware, Says id

Catholic Church Finds Quake 'Demonic,' Condemns id Software

'Batman and Robin: The Game' to Use Quake Engine

Quake 'Clone' Created in Wyoming

Ego Software Announces Quake 2 Competitor

Hell Freezes Over

An Open Letter From Microsoft to OpenGL Supporters
l33t d00dz Software Licenses Quake Engine


l33t d00z LogoARMADILLO, AZ (Fragmaster) - l33t d00dz Software, an Arizona-based software company headed up by the "l33test d00dz thAt 3v3r liV3d!" announced today that they have licensed the Quake engine for use in their upcoming game, "eNtrOpY43 F0eVeR, d00d!"

"OuR gAmE r0x!" l33t's press release screamed in a 144pt font.

id SoftwareStrangely, when Quakeweek contacted id Software CEO Todd Hollenshead for comment, he said, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Sources have revealed that l33t did not in fact license the engine and, in reality, received merely the Wolfenstein 3-D source code from American McGee in exchanged for an undisclosed amount of cash and a "aWeSuM wArEz CD" that McGee used to throw around in a box to make sound effects for Quake 2.

l33t Software was apparently unaware that they only had the Wolf3D source; when contacted on progress of their game via IRC, CEO aCiDbUrN said, "d00d, 0uR pr0graMer hAsN't b33n on IRC for wHileZ sooo 234234235!"

My kelw eNtrOpY43 F0eVeR site reports that l33t's game will have "kewl new stuff like ramps and lights and shoot things and really cool my dog died yesterday so no updates for seven months."

Qweek tried to get obtain an official statement from id, but Paul Steed kept picking up the phone and screaming "Ion Storm can lick my studly ass!"

"eNtrOpY43 F0eVeR, d00d!" should be out by December with "400 models, 900 sounds, and 324 levels," said Ion's John Romero. "Oh wait. . . I don't make that game. Never mind."

Rumors that 3D Realms also fell for the Wolf3D source code trick cannot be confirmed.