Quakeweek
July 13, 1997


Archives

Microsoft Announces MS Gun 98

id Drops OpenGL, Embraces Direct3D

l33t d00dz Software Licenses Quake Engine

NASA Unveils MarsQuake

Game Developers Sue 'Iron' Mike Tyson

John Carmack Denies Quake Was Written By Extraterrestrials

GLQuake 2 Needs No Special Hardware, Says id

Catholic Church Finds Quake 'Demonic,' Condemns id Software

'Batman and Robin: The Game' to Use Quake Engine

Quake 'Clone' Created in Wyoming
Pauly Shore Joins id


DALLAS, TX (GoldenHog) - With the recent death of Pauly Shore's career and the departure of several members of id Software, id's lead programmer John Carmack announced yesterday its decision to hire the talentless actor to serve as comic relief during the hectic development process of Quake 2.

Pauly Shore"So far," said Carmack, "Pauly has contributed some pretty good ideas. For instance, since Quake 2 will have absolutely nothing to do with Quake, he suggested changing the name to `Pauly: The Game.' Pauly also volunteered to do the voice of the main character, in a Duke Nukem sort of way. He's even given us a new idea for a weapon, the weasel gun."

Not everyone at id appproves of the new employee, however. Programmer John Cash has openly expressed his disappointment at John Carmack's new recruit:

"Carmack's always had a twisted sense of humor, but this one takes the cake," remarked Cash. "I mean, Pauly's so-called jokes actually crack him up! John should stick to putting little programmers' jokes into his code that only people like Jack Mathews would understand."

Despite the resentment from his fellow employees, Shore remains as 'entertaining' as ever:

"Check it, bro!" remarked Shore. "In Quake, there's, like, Pauly-gons!"